We're getting there.

It's been almost a full year since I've written a blog entry. There are many excuses that I've come up with pertaining to the reason, though, none are particularly convincing. The plain hard truth is, I fell a little out of love with cycling last year. I had a bad start to my season with two dumb crashes and a broken wrist. My fitness and, I think, mindspace suffered as a result. I was struggling, and I wasn't having fun. You tend to avoid spending time thinking, let alone writing about something like that.

Some call it burn out.
I would be one of those people.

It wasn't an entirely unsuccessful season by any stretch. I had a bunch of top tens in big-boy-pro-races. I think in comparison to the preceding season, any amount of success I achieved would have paled in comparison. I told myself this numerous times, but I don't think I ever believed it.

Obviously, a lot has happened in my little bubble of cycling since the last time I felt like being outwardly introspective in blog form. So I'm going to bring you up to speed.

-The 2011 season ended, ceremoniously, with The Mayors Cup.
-I took 2 weeks off the bike.
-I started riding again. In November.
-I waited for the snow that never came, with the rest of you.
-My best friend moved across the country.
-I took my now annual pilgrimage to Florida to get some serious       miles in.
-I got rained on for 2 straight weeks, despite how that photo looks.
-I came home and kept riding.
-Some other trivial things happened.

There. You are now caught up.

Somewhere along the road, I started to feel stronger. I couldn't really place a time exactly, but I started to feel like I used to. Almost two years ago.

Then, Bethel. 

Something that probably deserves it's own post, but in an effort to not overwhelm, I'll try and give a cursory overview of the first race of the year.

If you were to ask me the big question of where it all started, I would probably tell you: "Bethel." The Bethel Spring Series is a hallowed set of races. It is probably the most serious you are allowed to take a training race. Teams arrive 10 deep, in new kit, glistening in embro, eager to notch their first results of the season. This is true for everyone, regardless of what they say about how it's "just to get some training in" or how "poor their fitness is in the early season." Men come to The Bethel Spring Series to win The Bethel Spring Series. And that's and end of it.

I know this, because I had donned the yellow leaders jersey once before. Yes, it was as a CAT 5, but completely irrelevant. Shut up.

I'll cut right to the quick. I was having a tough race. I felt uncomfortable, and tired, and like my legs were made of stone. Twice I almost touched wheels, reminiscent of the early days on that oval. I had already lost the race mentally, as I tend to. It's a bad habit.

This concession eventually lead to my liberation, however. With two to go I was too far back. With one to go I was farther back than I would have preferred. This meant that I spent some unnecessary time in the wind when, generally, you shouldn't... more items I kept slotting away in my self-defeat-piggybank. I ended up in third wheel for the group sprint, and was forced into a very, very early attempt (final deposit).

Then, I uncorked a sprint. A sprint I had already deemed ineffective and poorly timed, and doomed from the start.

I was too busy being nervous about my mistakes to realize I had put 4 bike lengths between me and the field. Once I crossed the line I looked back and started to breathe again.

This one win has had a profound effect on me. In my first successful attempt, my confidence came flooding back, and I can't, for the life of me, remember why I was doubting myself.  

For the first time in a long time, I feel like I have wheels. Like I want to line up, elbows out, and demonstrate what I can do. I have something to prove. It's a great feeling.

So yeah. More to come I guess. 2012. The end of the world.